hum de dum

I love the fact that I've worked

with the espresso machine so much

at Bagel Me, that I can

perfectly determine how much milk is

needed to steam and pour

without having any milk left over.

I feel so bad ass. 

Take that starbucks!

You wish you had me as a barista. 

bamf.

I'm going to teach myself how

to do Latte Art. =)

<3

don't let it form us, the creature fear.

Play this while you read.
My buddy Bon deserves some
acknowledgment for helping me out
through yucky times =)



I think, fore I really don't know
(I'm a victim of this strange
phenomenon as well)
that the reason why
we all commonly suffer through:
having a bump in the road,
believing time will heal,
realizing that it's not,
making irrational decisions to
do irrational things,
fakely telling yourself
i'm over it.
then believing you really are,
being happy
going out
having fun
only to wake up the next day
in such distress over that problem you thought
went away,
seeing it come back and tear you
apart all over again.
repeating the process over and over
and never learning
that it will come back.
...is something that happens to us because
we all are deeply deeply
afraid of doing things the right way
and still losing something because of it.


That's when life's just not fair.

this is pouring rain

Today was the 

beginning of my monthly

emotional-wreckage phase.

vulnerable.

mentally ill.

unstable.

weak.

 time to sit on the grass,

listen to music,

think about the stars,

and wait until laughter

makes it all go away =)

hands of fate

I know you'll never read this

and I know I'm not allowed to

talk these type of things to you,

but I do tell in hopes you'll someday

stumble across my blog and read
this one thing I want to tell you.

I stopped listening to Bon Iver. 

I told myself it definitely wasn't because 

I was afraid it would remind me of you..

my love for Bon Iver would never

let you get in between.

It was because there were other 

things I wanted to listen to.

New music. 

Music to satisfy my changing 

musical tastes...just something. 

I was just with a group of people
I newly met. Without warning, I
began hearing a familiar song.

Two things happened in the quickest
manner that I've never felt before;

 my heart broke at the realization
of which artist I was listening to 

and then simultaneously fell in love
with Bon Iver and his music
all over again. 

Then without even trying,

I thought of you. 

imy.

Today I was on set filming

for some production.

While the crew was running around,

I stopped to find a little slug that managed

to make its way on top of a tub of pretzels. 

I put my pinky finger out for him to crawl on

and it was the weirdest feeling!

It felt like someone with a mouth the size of a

toothpick was giving me a hickey. 

I pulled my pinky away for a moment

and found that the slug was going bananas

in search of my skin. 

He was completely stretched upwards

with his extended tentacles moving

like crazy trying to feel for my finger.

I put my pinky back on him, he immediately 

clasped on, and began making his way

up my finger. 

That was fun. 

But then, another slug came along 

later in the night. 

We were sitting on a concrete flower bed

and found a little slug squirming about.

I told my friend "I want to show you something"!

because I was convinced the first slug 

gave me slug-senses. 

So I went to show him the other slug

that was hanging out with me

until I returned to the concrete spot and

someone was sitting there!

I said, "Oh no, where is it!?"

"Where's what?"

"The slug!"

 he stood up and right there in the 

middle of his butt was the little slug

squashed into his jeans. 

Poor fellow.

It sucks to loose one of your own kind.

what is exciting?

You're looking at a drop of water 

long enough to settle yourself 

into a calming daze.

Thinking some things;

something about nothing,

nothing about something,

then it drops.

The moment when

that little droplet of colorless something

actually shows some form of 

liveliness and expression,

 powerful enough to disturb your thought process

and launch you out of your own gaze,

is a moment I call
Exciting.  

1:05:35 am

Do you ever have those times 

when you're reading a 

paragraph or something on 

the internet or whatever, and then 

you reach the part where you see 

a random) parenthesis and you

jump back to either find:

A. the always welcoming opening bracket that 

provides reason for a polite closing bracket

or

B. no other bracket at all 

...I just found a random closing parenthesis

in a passage I'm reading

but there's no opening bracket.

giggle. ;)

ps; isn't the feeling of q-tipping your

ears after a nice shower the

 best thing in the world???

mindless mindfulness

Hello hello.

Today was one of those days where

"sometimes I felt so happy,

sometimes I felt so sad,

linger on pale blue eyes." 
- Velvet Underground

But, I set my

desktop wallpaper to this today.

Cat Power, you are my everything.